Dive deep into my life as I describe the things that I have learned so far:
- I try to be independent but I always feel like I’m dependent on someone.
- I over think everything.
- The posts I made when I was a teenager (up into my early 20’s) is cringe – worthy. I think my split personality wrote that.
- You will see that I have matured over the years (I’m hoping).
- I’m still contemplating the big S. This is the year to do it but I don’t know when this year.
- I am extremely judgemental.
- I have seriously high expectations and it’s never ever flippen met.
- I self-diagnose myself on a daily basis.
- I am self-conscious because I’m ugly as heck. And over the years I’ve physically deterred.
- I don’t know what I want.
- I can’t handle emotions.
- I keep grudges forever.
- I sure the heck do not forget.
- I can’t keep commitments.
- My life is interesting but only to myself.
- Also I talk to myself and have actual conversations with myself because only I know what is best. that was too much sharing.
- I’m so jealous.
- I need to find someone like me (I thought I found someone like me but he pretended).
- My moods are unplanned.
- I don’t believe in magic or religion.
- I want things but it’s so unrealistic.
Thanks for reading I guess. In a few years when I remember to log back into this website I’ll go through this list and probably think, hmmm what the heck. There I go again deciding things which I don’t know the outcome off. I’m feeling down at the moment so my train of thought is in a different state. Shows you what I know. Anyhow whether anyone sees this, won’t make a difference because I don’t even know why I’m doing this. Lies! I do know why I’m doing this (secretly seeking help *maybe?).
I think I know what love is. I also think I’ve grown accustomed to it and now I don’t know what it is anymore. What I do know is that I’m a selfish human who disrespects everyone except myself. Then again I am writing this on my fags. Here I am trying to get fame by writing a boring ass post about my thoughts. Shouldn’t I be posting fake news? Drama always gets attention. Speaking of which, I love other people’s drama. My life is dramatic in some senses. By the way Lisa is in another country teaching English. M changed but not completely, she got married and has three kids now. And me? I’m typing my feelings out because I’ve got issues (not true). But ja, such is life.
Got to go